Wednesday, December 04, 2002


Uma vez que ficou claro que a associação é internacional, me vi na obrigação de traduzir para o inglês. Espero que o Sr. Gambá aprove:

International Association of Engaged Men – USA Franchising

The IAEM, which involves boyfriends, fiancées, married, etc. comes in public trying to diminish the constant bureaucracy existing in the men-women relationships, which is a problem of feminine origin, due to their misinterpretation nature that comes from a pseudo-complex of inferiority of themselves. I mean, they are never satisfied... nevermind.

Due to this, we, viewing to spare time, money and to avoid nonsense argues, communicate the following:

Dear Women

1- If you think you are fat, it’s very possible you’re right. Don’t ask me. I won’t answer to you.

2- If you don’t dress like an underwear-clothing top model, do not wait for me to behaving like the soap opera idols.

3- If you want something, ask. Lets state this very clear: subtle indirect comments don’t work. Direct indirect comments don’t work. Very obvious indirect comments don’t work also. Say things like they are.

4- If you ask something that you don’t want answers to, don’t be mad in hearing what you don’t want to.

5- Sometimes I don’t think of you. Nothing is happening. Please, be accustomed to that. Don’t ask me about what I’m thinking about, unless you are ready to talk about politics, economics, football or sport cars.

6- Sunday = Barbecue / Friends / Sports on TV. It’s like the full moon or the tides. It can’t be controlled.

7- Go shopping isn’t funny and I will never consider it that way.

8- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely every thing you dress is good. It’s TRUE.

9- You have clothes enough. You have too many shoes. Crying is blackmail.

10- The most of the men have three pair of shoes. What makes you think I’m good to decide which one from 30 pairs you have gets well with that dress?

11- A simple YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to any question.

12- Come to me with a problem, only if you want some help to solve it. That’s why I’m here. Don’t ask me empathy like if I were one of your friends.

13- A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. Better go to a medical doctor.

14- If something I said can be understood of many ways and one of them could make you angry, my intention was to tell you in a different way.

15- EVERY men can see no more than 16 colors. Salmon is a fish, not a color.

16- Where I have itch, I will do. No matter when, where or in front of one.

17- Beer excites us so much, like handbags to you.

18- If I ask if something is happening and your answer is “nothing”, my reaction will be like if nothing could be happening.

19- What the hell is the “fúcsia” color? And more: how the hell is that shit spelled?

20- Don’t ask me “Do you love me?” Be sure that if I wouldn’t love you, I wouldn’t be with you.

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